The Republican Dictionary Of-Th

The Republican Dictionary is extracted from articles written by Katrina Vanden Heuval at The Nation. Y'all need to read her Editor's Cut column.

Acc-Der Det-Jun Mod-Sma Soc-Ver

MODERNIZE, v. To do away with, as in modernizing Social Security, labor laws, etc. (Robert Sean Roarty, Atlanta, Georgia)

MORAL VALUES, n. Hatred of homosexuals dressed up in Biblical language.

MANDATE, n. What a Republican claims to possess when only 49 percent of the voting public loathes him instead of 51 percent.

NEOCONSERVATIVES, n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.

NONPARTISAN JUDICIAL NOMINEE, n. An active member of the Federalist
Society. (Mark Hatch-Miller, Brooklyn, NY)

OBSTRUCTIONIST, n. Any elected representative who dares to question Republican radicals on the issue of the day. (Terry Levine, Toronto, Ontario)

OFFICE OF FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES, n. Christian Right payoff. (Michael Gendelman, Fair Haven, New Jersey)

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY (1), n. A society in which Republican donors own the rest of us. (Adrianne Stevens, Seattle, Washington)

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY (2), n. A society in which no one ever needs to own up to their mistakes or the consequences of their actions. (Sharon Gallagher, New York, New York)

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY, n. 1) A society where you're on your own. (John Read, Ownings Mills, MD); 2) A society where one-half of society owns the other half. (Anne Galvan Klousia, Corvallis, OR); 3) The euphemism used by robber barons and their political lackeys to promote or justify the extreme concentration of wealth into the hands of a powerful few. Synonyms:
PLUTOCRACY, CORPORATE FEUDALISM. (Ken Stump, Seattle, WA)

PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION, n. A non-medical term invented by anti-choice zealots that refers to a broad class of abortion procedures; employed as a first step in reversing Roe v. Wade. (David McNeely, Lutz, Florida)

PHILOSOPHY, n. Religion.

POLITICAL CAPITAL, n. What a Republican president receives as a result of a razor-thin margin of victory in an election. (Joy Losee, Gainesville, Georgia)

PRESS CONFERENCE, n. A rare event designed for the President to brag about his prowess as a leader while simultaneously dodging difficult questions. (Jim Nidositko, Westfield, New Jersey)

PRIVATIZE, v. To steal the resources of the national community and give them to private business. (Susan Dyer, Ottsville, Pennsylvania)

REFORM (1), v. To eliminate, as in tort reform (to eliminate all lawsuits against businesses and corporations) or Social Security and Medicare reform (to eliminate these programs altogether). (Darren Staley, Millers Creek, North Carolina)

REFORM (2), n. Rollback of New Deal reforms, laws, standards and social protections. (Nick Gill, Newton, MA)

RESOLUTE, adj. Pig-headed. (Paul Ruschmann, Carlton, MI)

SIMPLIFY, tr. v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

SLAVE, n. A person without legal rights, e,g. a fetus.

SMALL BUSINESS OWNER, n. rich person (Michael Mannella, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)